I know it’s been a while and I’ve really felt this as a stressful time but I have achieved so much, I can’t help but be proud. I don’t even remember the last time I blogged, I haven’t felt the freeing flow of inspiration in a while. I decided that instead of pushing myself, I would just relax and be.
The most important thing I learnt in this time is that we must not judge our thoughts or feelings and by acknowledging this I started to feel much better. I won’t pretend I’m back to myself yet, but I am on my way there. Today was another hard day and I do realize that I must take complete and full responsibility for it, I must take care of my karma because my thoughts and actions do have consequences. My fear and irrational thoughts have been drowning me this past week, today after another panic attack I realized the danger of my actions. I was creating karma that needed to be taken care of, I was judging my thoughts and feelings. I was entertaining bad self talk, I haven’t fallen this far in a very long time, not since I started practicing Buddhism. This realization shocked me. I let my ego take control because I felt too physically tired to fix any of my problems. Today I took a stand and delved deep into myself to better understand where all of these old wounds were coming back from. What is the real problem, where does it stem from because in order to heal and get better one can’t just put a plaster over these feelings. I needed to find what I need to make peace with in order to let go of these irrational fears. I managed to unfurl some issues and I feel much lighter now that I have let them go with love.
Buddhism has changed my life in so many ways, it keeps teaching me new lessons and it is always there to lend a different perspective.
Yoga has taught me to trust in my body and what it is capable of, if you mindfully trust your body the universe will aid you in your practice. Listen to your body, listen to the energy and go with the flow. If you are attempting a position like Crow Pose and as you lean forward you feel resistance then trust in your body, it could be telling you that your feet are too far apart or that your knees aren’t in the right place. By listening to your body and the energy around it you could save yourself from falling.
Reiki has provided me with many tools to help myself and others. When I feel distressed I know that I can help lessen the pain and anxiety with a calm self healing treatment. If someone around me accidentally hurts themselves I have the knowledge on how to help that person feel less pain.
Meditation has introduced me to myself, I have gained wonderful insight into who I am, mind, body and soul. I sit in meditation everyday, more than once a day and if somehow I don’t meditate I feel uneasy. I always make time for my daily practices.
When I practice I am making time to love myself, this is something everyone should do.
I didn’t change, I just woke up.
I am more myself now than I have ever been but I haven’t changed. All that happened is that I’ve become comfortable with myself, I started loving the person I am and I realized how much I have to offer the world. I woke up to the possibilities that I am. I have the universe in me, just as everyone else does too. People come to realize this at different times. You who is reading this right now, you have the whole universe inside of you. You are everything and that is beautiful. You are Epic, Complete and Full of Love! Please, when you come to terms with how large you are, remember this, these emotions you are feeling now are telling you a story. Remember the time when you started thinking of other possibilities, whether it be now reading these words or if it was years ago when your reality became clear, remember how far you have come and be proud of yourself.
As long as you are open to listening, your soul will speak to you, there is so much you can learn from yourself. So to conclude, please remember to be kind to yourself and others.
Peace and Love